The Orginization XIII: Off the Job
by Silvertail8
Summary: The title basically says it all. This is my first fic. Please R&R!
1. D is for Danger Zone

The Organization XIII "Off the Job"

I don't own any thing of Square Enix or Disney or Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts. Thankies.

This story is just random and fun. No, nothing serious is gonna go on in this fic. It is for laughs only. Thankies again.

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Marluxia yawned as he awoke and flung himself into the kitchen. It was 8 a.m. "Wow I am thirsty." He thought. He looked around in the fridge and sighed. "Hey Larx! Where is the Sunny D?" he said. "Um...California or Florida style?" "Pffh, Nebraska. I don't care!" "Top shelf." He grabbed the Sunny D and opened a Cabinet. There were thirteen glasses all marked in roman numerals. Marluxia grabbed the one with the number XI. As he did Xaldin approached. Xaldin grabbed the glass marked III. "Thanks." He said yanking the drink away before Marluxia could pour it. "Hey! I was going to drink that!" Marluxia yelled. "Too bad. Mine now." Xaldin said. "You sure about that?" Marluxia said. As he did he grabbed his pink scythe. Xaldin glared. "Yes, I am." Xaldin summoned his lances down into the kitchen. As they did a voice was heard. "III! XI! Stop it!" It was Xemnas coming in. He spotted the Sunny D. "Oh no not this again. Must we always go threw this? First it was the iced tea, then it was the last can of diet Sprite oh come on!" Marluxia glared at him. "You not involved in the Mans-." He began to say when interrupted by Xemnas. "Don't even!" "Ok." Marluxia said sitting down. Xemnas went to depart from the room. However, first he opened the fridge and sat another bottle of Sunny D down. "There was another full one you fools." Xaldin and Marlxuia both just sighed.

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P.S. Sorry this chapter is so short. I will try to make the next longer. D


	2. Well I'll stick that Volcano up your

**Organization XIII : Off the Job**

**Chapter II: **Yeah, well I'll stick that volcano up your- Never mind just read the story. **(Long chapter name, no?)**

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**Disclaimer: **I don't not own any of these characters, Square Enix does.

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Zexion sat irritated in the library as he heard banging and bashing going on up stairs.

'Damnit. Why is Vexen so damn noisy?" He said to himself.

He heard Vexen curse as he tried to do something.

"What is he doing? Building a nuclear weapon?"

This had been going on for two hours now. It was bugging him. He had to go see what was going on. He retreated from the library and began to head up stairs.

He walked into Vexen's lab. "What in the hell are you doing?!"

"My work! What does it look like!" Vexen yelled.

"I know that idiot! I mean what in the hell are you making that is making this much noise!"

"A Volcano."

"A Volcano? A Volcano! Dude, you should have been able to make those when you were seven." Zexion said.

"It is very frustrating you know." Vexen protested.

"No, what is frustrating is I am trying to read down there and you are in here trying to make a damn 3rd grade project!"

Vexen gasped. "Take that back!"

"Yeah well, What if I don't want to!"

"Yeah well, What if I don't want to stop making my Volcano!"

"Yeah well, What if I just stick that damn Volcano up your ass!"

"You wouldn't!"

**Down Stairs minutes later….**

"Hey? Mar?" Larxene said.

"Yeah?" Marluxia said.

"Did you hear Vexen, yell out just now?"

"Yes."

"Should we do something?"

"Yeah…" Marlxuia thought for a minute. He grabbed the remote, turned up the volume and yelled. "Shut the hell up, Vexen we are watching Spongebob!"

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Who hasn't wanted to do that to Vexen? D

R&R.


	3. Boredom's a bitch

**Organization XIII : Off the Job**

**Chapter III : Boredom's a bitch**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters, Square Enix does, I am just using them for my own entertainment. Nor does Elmo, Sesame Street, or Monopoly belong to me.

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Demyx, Roxas, and Zexion sat, staring blankly at a television screen with infomercials running on it.

"I'm booooored." Demyx whined like a three year old.

"Me toooooooo." Roxas said in the same tone.

"I don't give a daaaaamn." Zexion said mocking there whine.

"Well, your smart figure out something." Demyx said.

"Well how do you know he is smart?" Roxas questioned.

"He reads books."

Zexion hit his head with his hand. "Fine then. Find something to watch."

"These stupid things are all that are on." Demyx said pointing to the tv, that was showing infomercials.

"So, get something on that shelf." Zexion said, hitting a wooden shelf by the tv with his foot.

Roxas bent down and began grabbing videos out of it. "Boring, Boring, Seen it, Seen it. What in the hell? Why do we have 'Sesame Street : Elmo's Great Adventure'?"

"Not something I want to know the answer to." Zexion said.

"Good call. And, there is nothing good in here."

"I've got an idea! Let's play Monopoly!" Demyx yelled proudly.

"Yes!" Roxas said.

"The hell? Fine. I call the car then." Zexion sighed.

(And, they did. Well, they played Monopoly until Roxas fell asleep on the board. And, then some other odd things having to do with the game.

Like, well….just read.)

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"So as I was saying Big Bird could kick Cookie Monster's ass." Xigbar remarked to Xemnas as they began to walk over to the television with coffee cups.

"No no, cookie monster could kick- What. In. The. Hell!" Xemnas yelled.

Roxas was sleeping on the board game, with Monopoly pieces stuck up his nose, and 'Mansex' written on his forehead with a neon green sharpie. Zexion was asleep on the floor, and Demyx seemed to be in a odd postion on the couch like he was trying to eat it, as 'Sesame Street : Elmo's Great Adventure' played on the televison.

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R&R, Damn it all.


	4. Xigbar knows his Alphabet

**Organization XIII : Off the Job**

**Chapter IV: Xigbar knows his alphabet.**

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**Note:** No stencils were harmed in the making of this chapter. Except for Bob, who was eaten by Roxas.

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters, Square Enix does, I am just using them for my own entertainment. I don't own Trix or any other thing I mention in here either.

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"It's simple!" Xigbar said slamming his hands down on the table in front of him and looked at a startled Roxas, Demyx, and Saix.

"I think I may have just soiled myself." Demyx whispered to Saix.

"I may have too." Saix whispered back.

"Every time I see the Trix rabbit on television I wet myself." Roxas informed them.

"Thank you we did not need to know that." Saix said sighing.

"Are you all even listening to me?! I am trying to explain to you fools…**the alphabet**!" Xigbar yelled dramatically as Zexion played dramatic music unenthusiastically in the background.

"The alphabet?!" The other three said in unison gasping in shock.

"Wait, what is that?" Roxas said confused.

Xigbar sighed, "It is simple Roxas. I think it would better be explained however…**in song!**"

"In song?" Demyx said his eyes sparkling.

"Yes! In song! Let me show you…" Xigbar began.

He jumped up and started to sing, "Oh! A is for Axel, the pyro you all know well! B is for Bad Eggs, doesn't that stuff smell!"

Saix whispered over to Roxas, "I think patchy has finally lost it."

Xigbar walked over to them and stared evilly in a dark villainous lighting. "Hey aren't you listening?!"

Roxas shrunk down to the size of a dime. "Yes, Xiggy." He mumbled as the sound of pee was heard.

"Good!" Xigbar said smiling. "As I was saying. Oh! C, D, E, F! G, H, I, J!"

All of a sudden Xemnas appeared out of know where, "K IS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS!"

All four turned and blinked at him. "We know that Mansex." Demyx told him.

"What did you just call me?!" Xemnas yelled.

Demyx flailed around and ran around the room. "CONTINUE THE SONG NOW, XIGGY!"

"Alright then. Where was I…Oh, L! M! N! AND O IS FOR ORGANIZATION XIII! P, Q, R! S! T! U! V, W! X IS FOR XIGBAR!" he sung loudly.

As he did the other four crowded around him, "Y AND Z!" they finished as confetti and glitter went everywhere as well as many, many alphabet stencils.

The organization had sung their alphabet.

**Somewhere on the ground…**

"Dude! We are being invaded!" An alphabet stencil screamed.

"I know! I'm scared!" Another said.

"Guys, this kid is eating me!" A third screamed that was half inside Roxas mouth.

"Bob, no!" The other two screamed.


End file.
